I think as women, most of us are groomed to think sex is a bad thing. Some of us were very sheltered. Some of us have grown up in religious households. Some of us just weren’t that close with our parents to even talk about it. Society deems sex and women associated with “hoe” and other countless names we won’t even waste our time on. Did it stop us from experimenting? Did it stop us from having sex? No!
I think back to a time I was broke… Did it mean I stopped spending money when I finally got it back, no. It meant that I would be more careful about my spending, so I wouldn’t go back to being broke again. I like to think of sex like that because just like money, more times than not, growing up you hear what you should or shouldn’t do. That’s it. Its not always a constant conversation. So then when we get out in the real world, we mess up a lot until we learn. We go broke, damage our credit, just like we mistake love for lust or just lose our power totally when it comes to our sexual behavior.
Just like anything else, our sex drives and thoughts about sex are all completely different. But the thing is do you think about it enough, talk about it enough, to even know what sex means to you? How does it make you feel? What goals do you have associated with sex? How much power does sex have over you? Can you control your sexual temptations? I bet many of us have never even thought that deep about it & in my opinion thats what needs to change.
The expectation is always save sex for marriage. That’s definitely a high bar to set in this generation. Unrealistic in a time where a woman’s coca cola shape is put on a pedestal. Unrealistic when sex is apart of social media, YOUtube and other aspects of every day life. Sometimes it feels like sex is the norm everywhere but in our households, when it comes to women. Do our daughters know that we have all the control? Do we even know it?
Do our daughters know that if they twerk, it doesn’t take away their right to say NO. Do our daughters know the emotions sex can bring? More importantly do we even know what sex means to our daughters? Trying to shelter them so they don’t know is going to make them unprepared for the real world. They are going to look like some of us lol! Living a life where they don’t know they hold the true prize and what that prize means.
I can say growing up in a house where the conversation was always open, I took charge of my sexual aura early. I wasn’t afraid of it & I didn’t care what it may have looked like to other people. But it’s more than just open conversation, its about deeper conversation. Our children want to know we are human and not standing on top of a pedestal demanding action we couldn’t uphold ourselves.
We as women have to normalize sex talk. Even for our babies that may be getting taking advantage of, it could help them feel more comfortable telling someone. We have to take back our power when it comes to sex, whatever that means for you. It could be practicing abstinence and getting deeper connected. It could be distinguishing whats love and whats lust in your life. It could elevating the bedroom in your relationships. It could be having real conversations with your 16 year old daughter. No matter what it is, please remember that when it comes to SEX, its a woman’s world, despite what society makes you think.
THERE SHE GO!